never
ignore
a
person
who
loves
and
cares
for
you,
because
one
day
you
realise
that
you’ve
lost
the
moon
while
counting
the
stars
I took 5 steps backwards last night and I’m beating myself up for it, but also… I’ve come so far and I have to remember that. I love you, even tho you destroy me.
Omfg two months ago today you ended something soooo beautiful, but so unstable. I thought I would die from a broken heart. I legitimately felt so much pain. I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like that in my life. No surgery, no migraine, no tumor can compare to the pain I felt from losing you. But I’m okay now and that is so fucking magical. I feel alive. I feel strong. I feel hopeful. Damn. I am so fucking resilient. I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF ✨ (and I don’t even hate you. I love you. And that, I feel, is the epitome of growth)
Why the fuck did you have to let me down again?
“You make time for the ones you love,” says everyone.
How long does it take a broken heart to heal? Like seriously, how long until I no longer feel this much gut wrenching pain? God. I feel so fucking stupid and unwanted. I feel so foolish for getting my hopes ups and expecting her to care enough about me to make time to have this conversation. If she read what I sent her, she fucking knows that I’ve been hurting. She knows this has been so hard for me and that I just want closure. I’ve made it crystal clear, but it’s undeniable that my feelings are no longer on her priority list. Or on any list at all. Anything Devani related has been shoved away and left to deal with whenever she finally feels like it. I’m no longer important to her, and I have to accept that. She fucking sucks.
Maybe good things don’t come to her because she plays with people’s hearts like toys. But then what does that say about me? What did I do to deserve this pain?
Questions I’ll Probably Never Get An Answer To:
- Was this even hard for you?
- Was it hard for you to make the decision to stop talking to me?
- Was it hard to keep up with that decision?
- Do you ever think of me? How often?
- How do you feel about things now?
- In an ideal world, what kind of relationship would we have?
- In our actual world, what kind of relationship can we have?
- Do you have to be cold and distant in order to get over things/people?
- Do you miss me?
- Are you still in love with me?
- Do you still think I am your soulmate?
- Does it affect you knowing I’m sad?
- If you could have a redo, what would you do differently?
- Are you sleeping with other women?
- Has your relationship with M improved?
- Can we cuddle and kiss this weekend?
24 Maio 2017
I wonder if Home will ever have a place for me.
